Monday, 23 December 2002

Homeland insecurity. Whenever I come back to the USA after a trip overseas, I always think to myself that I should kiss the ground when I arrive. It's theatrical, I know, but it's also an expression of love for my country, and I always feel like I should do it.

And then I arrive at LAX, and the feeling goes away. I'd be eating some exciting new polymers and carpet fuzz, to say the least. (Not that I can think of other airports where I'd feel any better about kissing the carpet, but after three years of flying to Australia and back, I associate LAX with twelve-hour plane rides and badly needing a shower.)

Boarding the flight in Sydney, I went through at least three layers of security to ensure that I didn't morph into Osama between baggage check and the departing gate. (How would this have stopped the terrorists?) I also left my pocketknife at home, figuring that I'd forget to check it at some point, and then I'd need a new pocketknife. (How again would this make me more secure?) I know that Something Had To Be Done, the Public Confidence Must Be Restored, etc., but none of this crap makes me feel any safer. The only thing that makes me feel secure is the knowledge that my fellow passengers and I will beat the living daylights out of anyone who tries to hijack the plane.

- Posted by Scott Forbes at 4:06 am. comments.