Monday, 07 June 2004

A Few Good Men: The Dubya Cut. Here's an alternate ending that didn't make it onto the A Few Good Men DVD:

[The courtroom scene. Colonel JESSEP is on the stand, being grilled by Lieutenant KAFFEE.]

KAFFEE
Your honor, these are the telephone records from Gitmo for August 6th. And these are 14 letters that Santiago wrote in nine months requesting, in fact begging, for a transfer.

[to Jessep]
Upon hearing the news that he was finally getting his transfer, Santiago was so excited, that do you know how many people he called? Zero. Nobody. Not one call to his parents saying he was coming home.

Not one call to a friend saying can you pick me up at the airport.

He was asleep in his bed at midnight, and according to you he was getting on a plane in six hours, yet everything he owned was hanging neatly in his closet and folded neatly in his footlocker.

You were leaving for one day and you packed a bag and made three phone calls. Santiago was leaving for the rest of his life, and he hadn't called a soul and he hadn't packed a thing.

Can you explain that?

The fact is there was no transfer order. Santiago wasn't going anywhere, isn't that right, Colonel.

ROSS
Object. Your Honor, it's obvious that Lt. Kaffee's intention this morning is to smear a high ranking marine officer in the desperate hope that the mere appearance of impropriety will win him points with the jury.

It's my recommendation, sir, that Lt. Kaffee receive an official reprimand from the bench, and that the witness be excused with the Court's deepest apologies.

[Judge Randolph ponders this a moment.]

RANDOLPH
Sustained. MPs, take Lt. Kaffee into custody.

KAFFEE
What? But he— [points to Jessep, as the MPs sieze him]

RANDOLPH
You're to be held in contempt. Col. Jessup, this court apologizes for Lt. Kaffee's misguided effort to besmirch your reputation.

JESSEP [smirking]
Thank you, your honor. It's a shame that a couple of bad apples like Dawson and Downey did this terrible thing. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm getting on a plane and going back to my base.

[Jessep stands up and leaves the witness box]

KAFFEE [shouting as the MPs restrain him]
You ordered the Code Red, Jessep! I want the truth!

JESSEP [quietly, under his breath]
You're goddam right I did.

[aloud, over his shoulder as he walks out]
I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it. I did my job, and I'd do it again. Next time I'd prefer that you just said thank you.

[Jessep exits the room.]

KAFFEE [still shouting, as the MPs haul him away]
There was a 2 a.m. flight off the base! Jessep doctored the log books!

ROSS
Your honor, Lt. Kaffee's conspiracy theories are obvious signs of a mental breakdown. In addition to a disciplinary hearing, I recommend a full psychiatric evaluation.

RANDOLPH
So ruled. This court-martial is adjourned.

- Posted by Scott Forbes at 10:30 am. comments.